Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tip 5: Breakfasting

The most important meal of the day, yet also the most difficult to execute with the clock ticking.

WARNING: This is the beginning of the shameless marketing portion of the program, look for links to products I endorse.

1. Oatmeal. Not just any oatmeal, Quaker Old Fashioned Original
Five minutes versus one...really, does it make such a difference. True, time is of the essence, so in the race to get ready, oatmeal is like the starting gun. Boil water, insert oatmeal (you'll get the portioning down with practice, hint use more water, when the oatmeal sits and softens it will get too thick otherwise).

The flavored instant stuff is a luxury you don't require (buy brown sugar, you know...Pure cane sugar...from Hawaii...growin' in the Sun...C&H pure cane's the one...) At the bare minimum cooking oatmeal gives you plausible deniability when the wife asks "did you make them breakfast?" You did, did they eat it, well...some things are best left unsaid. (If left uneaten, eat the stuff yourself, it's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it [God bless Wilford Brimley]).

2. Agree upon a weekly menu. It sounds like I'm pampering the kid, but it helps to have their buy off on what they'll eat before I lay a bowl of oatmeal in front of them. Saves some frustration in the morning, although there always exists the risk of the fickle addled brains of your splendid youth changing his/her mind(s) by Friday. Review menu as needed and stock fridge accordingly. (See Upcoming Tip "fulfill promises").

3. Make Nothing for Yourself. Trust me there are always leftovers and you can survive (indeed, grow large) eating only what's left on your kid(s[']) plates. This takes a strong stomach and the essential component of parenting, loss of self. You are no longer the 20-something happy-go-lucky man-about-town. You are a father, and that means, every once in a while you'll be eating regurgitated oatmeal. Consider yourself like the mommy bird who eats the worm, returns to the nest and then expels the food from her stomach into her chick's mouth. It's like that, but in reverse.


William Brent said...

My wife's family has various versions of Oatmeal as well to make things interesting - Boatmeal, Goatmeal, etc depending on the consistency (less watery to more watery).

jeffreyleonard said...

Oh the varieties are endless...blackberry jam, raisins, syrup...a few snorts of scotch...